Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The end or the beginning?

We just laid there and he wept silently. The man I have always, since the beginning of my days , known so well, respected tremendously, loved beyond any rational description. I felt alive. For the first time in almost 4 years it was a real feeling instead of waiting, waiting, waiting. The unknown, the deep-in-a-hole feeling... for 30 something months. I felt alive while his world was crashing. We laid there, my arm around him and I loved him like I have never loved him before. I wanted to shout, but for every shout I just kissed him gently and silently. I wished he could see himself through my eyes and feel my heart - full of readiness to pick up the pieces and start from scratch. Nothing is lost, nothing is waisted. Nothing was for no reason. Yes, today is a dark day, and every bit of him is defeated. Everything seems pointless and I can see him slipping away and wanting to be left alone in the dark. But he will not sleep tonight, because of how wonderful he is. And for the same reason he will be great and be exactly what he feels his destiny is to be. I LOVE YOU OLIVER FREDERICK BENEDICT!!!! I love you. I am with you, behind you, around you. I am however you want me to be. I will go proudly with you wherever you'll take me. I'll cry with you if things around us fail, and I'll lough when you rise despite of them. We'll keep going till we reach it. And if for some, beyond this world, reason it will not happen, then damn, WE will die trying...